Not Always A Happy Car Ride
”When are we going to be there??”
Share on Facebook read moreOnce the seatbelts are on and the tires are turning, there is no stopping the family journey.
Who Says You Can’t Have Fun in a Minivan?
This commercial reminds parents that they’re still hip when they’re on a family road trip. Who says minivans aren’t cool (sorta’)
Share on Facebook read moreBad Food on the Road Can Lead to Bad Manners Too
A few years ago, we were on our way back to Toronto after ten days vacationing in Indian Shores, Florida. During that time, our kids grew increasingly vulgar as tends to happen when three boys spend uninterrupted leisure time together.
“There will be no more talk about farts, burps, poo, pee or anything else that in any way relates to the toilet,” I lectured the boys. With my head twisted to face the back of the minivan, I looked each of my sons in the eye to ensure that they knew I meant business.
“Yes, Mom,” they replied between snickers before I turned my head back to face the front window.
“Did you hear your mom?” Ted’s voice boomed as he glanced at his rear view mirror. “No more rude talk.”
We’d tolerated the constant references to private body parts and their excrements for long enough. Now that we were heading back to our every day lives, Ted and I wanted a semblance of decorum returned to our family. Throughout the vacation, their potty jabber replayed like a slew of infomercials. Irritating, yet surprisingly amusing at times.
Although I’d just delivered my umpteenth lecture, it seemed to have finally resonated with the boys – at least for the time being. They settled into quiet activities. Shortly afterward, we pulled off to an exit to find somewhere to eat. The stash of prepared foods was dwindling, so we reviewed the usual selection of fast food restaurants that dotted the road trippers’ landscape. McDonald’s was selected. Ted and I figured, at the very least, the Happy Meal toys would offer the kids a brief period of pleasure when we returned to the minivan.
As we entered the restaurant, I reminded the boys to show manners and refrain from the usual gastrointestinal stunts and sounds. They nodded their heads, stifling giggles. Ted brought the Happy Meals to the table and, as always, the kids reached first for the toy. They all received the same thing. A Shrek figure with a button on its chest that, when pushed, emitted an exclamation “I’m an ogre!” followed by a harrowing belch. The irony was not lost on any of us. But the hope of enforcing a toilet talk ban for the remainder of the car ride was lost for good.
Share on Facebook read moreWho’s in Charge of Packing for a Road Trip
In our household, the packing duties are divided between me and my husband with the rigidity of a 1950’s household. He is responsible for the heavy lifting and strategic positioning of our “stuff” in the minivan. I’m the gatherer. I assess the needs of the family members then collect fragments from every corner of our abode until a miniaturized version of our household is assembled upon the floor in the front hallway.
Rarely do these two roles intersect. And while our “Me Tarzan, You Jane” separation of duties can be a source of strife in many aspects of a relationship, it actually works well in the context of preparing for a road trip. For one thing, it prevents fighting. And when a family is about to embark on a long drive together in a small, confined space, it’s not ideal to start the trip with a cloud of resentment hovering over the front seat of the car.
Our ritual is simple. On the date of departure (or the day before, if we’re leaving before dawn), I review my checklists and slowly build an arsenal of necessities for the trip. I’m in the zone – gliding from drawer to cupboard to closet. I can practically hear Snow White whistle while I work. If Ted suddenly wanders into my zone with his comments or questions, I cringe.
“Did you pack the camera?”
“When will you be done?”
“Don’t forget the passports. Did you print the map?”
“Please let me do this,” I’ll reply through a forced smile. Or I’ll send him off to grab a few things for me. Either response tends to elicit a quick withdrawal of his presence.
Generally, Ted understands why I want my solitude. After all, he does not want me in his way when it’s time to pack the car. If anything, his intrusions are less about a desire to help me, and more a desire to move into the next stage – filling the car. Our established routine took years to define. I used to load suitcases into the car, thinking I was being helpful. Ted would then proceed to pull everything out, shaking his head with a laugh.
“That’s not how you pack a car,” he’d chide me as I stood beside him, bewildered.
I still don’t know the secret to car packing. Whether men trade clandestine tips about how to get the most space out of a vehicle, or they are hardwired at birth to excel at this role, I don’t know. But I’ve learned to let him do it the way he wants. No matter how much he curses and huffs and puffs with frustration – it’s best to not interfere. That’s all part of the process. And, keeping the peace is as much a goal as readying the car to leave. Anger can take up a lot of space in small quarters, too.
Share on Facebook read moreThis Smell Won’t Knock You Out
I try not to drive long distances. My husband will handle the wheel for ten hours straight before allowing me a stint at it. That’s because we both know that the motion of a car makes me sleepy. I tried to hide this hazardous habit for the first few years of our marriage, but after being caught slapping myself in the face a few too many times, my husband finally caught on.
Apparently, the propensity to snooze at the wheel is not so uncommon. In fact, car companies have been working on various technologies to combat this DWD (Driving While Drowsy) issue. One of the most promising and interesting of the solutions is aromatherapy. Nissan has created a system called “Forest AC” that releases fragrances to alter a driver’s mood or behaviour.
Two aromas are used intermittently and alternately:
- Borneol is a combination of oils that create a calming effect, thereby reducing the potential for road rage;
- Leaf alcohol is found in most plants and is found to reduce fatigue (no more face slapping.)
Furthermore, the “forest” atmosphere is maintained within the car with its filtration system that eliminates noxious fumes out of the air. Whether the smell originates from outside (skunk) or inside the car (dirty diapers), the system works to eliminate the offending odour immediately.
But don’t throw out the pine scented air freshener dangling off the rear view mirror just yet. Forest Air is only available in the Fuga luxury sedan in Japan. And order an extra large coffee, to go.
Share on Facebook read moreDistraction-Free Driving? Not on this Road Trip
When it comes to keeping the car peaceful during long road trips, the key is in keeping the kids distracted. The less they notice the slow passage of time, the better. While this is not so for the driver, distraction-free driving is increasingly challenged by the population of gadgets and gizmos that proliferate in every segment of our lives. The automobile is no exception to this accumulation of clutter. The modern person thrives on constant interaction, and what could be less compelling than staring at a dull grey highway for hours on end without interruption? Today’s cars are equipped with GPS’s, cell phones, make-up bags, iPods, and take-out food. And although we’ve driven under the influence of distraction for decades (my mom and dad used to drive holding a ceramic mug filled with scalding coffee), it’s the cell phone that has brought it all to a screeching halt.
Research from the University of Utah has proven that using a cell phone while driving has the same effect as driving impaired at a blood alcohol concentration of .08 percent. This is troubling, but not all that surprising. What is shocking, however, is that the study also found little difference in driver performance between those using a hand held cell phone and those using a hands free one. It would appear that the act of talking is the cause of the distraction, and not so much the device. Despite this important bit of evidence, many provinces and states have passed legislation banning the use of hand held phones, thereby encouraging hands free talking.
In Alberta, a new bill was introduced that bans not just hand-held cellphones, but also texting, reading, writing, and personal grooming under threat of a $172 fine in their new Distracted Driving Amendment Act. (Hands-free phones are okay.) Their motivation is noble, to be sure. But if the act of talking is, itself, a huge distraction, will this new legislation, if passed really make the roads a whole lot safer? And I’m not just saying that because I apply lipstick every time I get in the driver’s seat.
I guess I should just be grateful that no legislator has every sat among my kids during one of our road trips. Some things he might observe the driver do are:
- Reach a hand back into a cooler for snacks and then toss them backward toward the kids,
- Twist his neck to give the stinker eye to a badly behaved child,
- Engage in lively conversation with spouse seated beside him, which may or may not include heated discussion about the directions,
- Rifle through a stack of DVDs to find Ice Age 3, then open case and provide verbal directions to seven year old on how to work DVD player,
- Rip open a bag of potato chips with his teeth.
There is a very strong likelihood that a bill would soon be introduced that bans kids from sitting in cars. Hmmm. Either that, or provide a nanny to keep the kids in order. Now that’s an idea I could drive with.
Share on Facebook read moreTop Ten Things You Never Thought to Pack on Your Road Trip
- Small Tupperware containers or plastic baggies – Don’t bother with overpriced, environmentally-unfriendly individually wrapped snacks. Pack small containers or baggies to fill for each child from a bag of munchies. Passing back the entire bag for them to “share” will guarantee fights over who got more, as well as a nasty mess of crumbs. Also handy is the ability to toss snacks to the back of a minivan, well, that and a good aim.
- Wet wipes – Fingers covered in sugar, salt, chocolate, ketchup and more are guaranteed to rub artistic renderings all over the car upholstery unless prevented with the hasty pull of a moist wipe. A more earth-friendly and economical choice is to keep a Ziploc with one or two damp cloths handy.
- Empty pitcher with a lid – No, it’s not to make orange juice. It’s a barf pitcher. Hopefully it will never be used but should a child suddenly complain of an upset stomach, reach for the pitcher. Have you ever seen a three year old try to hold a bag open to vomit? I have. It ain’t pretty. The barf pitcher is easier to use than a bag, is leak-proof, and provides peace of mind (sorta.)
- Paring knife – Getting sick of junk food? (This is directed at the parents, not the kids.) Stop at a grocery store or farmer’s market along the way and pick up some fresh fruit or vegetables. While some produce can be munched whole, it’s helpful to have a knife for others, such as carrots, cantaloupe, cucumbers.
- Laundry soap – “Accidents” and spills do happen along the way and, thankfully, running water is readily available at most every stop. Laundry detergent, however, is harder to come by.
- Griddle and flipper – If you want to avoid stale froot loops and day-old muffins offered at the hotel’s free continental breakfast, spark up the griddle beside the TV and serve fried eggs and bacon right in the room.
- Garbage bag – This is so obvious that it seems ridiculous to include, however, it’s amazing how many times we’ve forgotten to pack any kind of garbage bag and have had to use an empty potato chips bag, instead. Two empty grocery bags should do it.
- Overnight bags – Planning to stop at a hotel along the way? Save time and effort by packing a separate overnight bag for everyone that includes pyjamas, essential toiletries, and a change of clothes. This way, you don’t need to lug the large pieces of luggage out of the car (or roof top carrier) until the final destination. Also comes in handy if there is a messy accident and someone needs a quick change of clothes.
- Toilet rolls – Think road side hotel, two in the morning, four-year-old has to go, and the room is fresh out of toilet paper. It could happen. Don’t let it.
- Corkscrew – Celebrate! It’s the end of the driving day, and you’ve survived day one (or two, or three) of your family road trip. You might get lucky and find a screw top bottle of wine in that rinky dink town you’re in, but why take the chance?